The Turning of Ivili

Clearing Out the Greenskins
Everyone is terrified of spider hugs

Upon arriving to the entrance to the Dwarven cavern-city of place name, the rumours of a seige by Orcs was found to be true.

Ulrich Saul sent his raven up above for an arial view only to spot the Orcs doing what Orcs do best and not learning. A group of four, under the command of a female Shaman, were using a log to try and batter the great steel door open. Oblivious to the glowing runes that glowed brighter and emitted a low hum that grew louder every time they hit it, they did so without stopping. Their persistence was rewarded with bolts of magical energy that would shoot forth from the door and strike one of them occasionally, leaving the victim grumbling something in Orcish that was certainly not happy.

Relaying his findings back to the party, they planned a “sneak” attack where they would all jump out at the same time and loudly start murdering the Orcs with great prejudice.

Ulrich Saul turned into a cloud of mist, floated up a wall, then started swinging a magical spiked chain around and shooting beams of purple energy around, ocassionally hitting things.

Raxxor threw a bunch of Javelins and then caved in the faces of any Orcs that came close to him with his war-hammer, though usually letting them hit him first.

Van Blüdleaf turned into a giant spider and ran around biting things, very successfully. There was an annoying ghost spear that the shaman summoned that just would not leave him alone – so he bit her in the face too and then it went away.

Randal Savage did what he does best and hid behind Raxxor. Though he also sang a lullaby, and whispered an Orc to death. It was such a severe whispering that his eyes fell out of his skull.

Unfortunately, before she got bit in the face the shaman screeched out for reinforcements and our adventurers heard a rumbling of hooves in the distance. After making quick work of the Orcs that remained, they realised there was no way they’d defeat them in open battle with the wounds they had already suffered still lingering.

In a bid to put themselves in a more defensible position, they barricaded themselves in an abandoned inn just outside the gate the Orcs were trying to smash down. With only the door and a window beside it left for entry, the Orcs were left with no other option if they wanted to kill our heroes.

Sensibly, Van turned back into a human so he could set fire to the ground just outside the inn. That way, the orcs would be nice and crispy by the time they came inside. Raxxor swung his warhammer around more while Randal pointed out the Orc Warcheif that if he had any allies then he’d have to share the glory of murdering the adventurers with the other Orcs. The Warcheif was confused at first — “Ug?” — but then thanks to the soothing sounds of Randal’s lute, he realised that sharing is not something he liked, so he decided to kill all of his allies — “Ug!~”

With his allies all dead — either by his axe, Raxxor’s hammer, Van’s scimitars, Ulrich’s magic or Randal’s insults — UgUg was ready to murder the squishy oo-manz. It was something that UgUg was very good at, he knew it from experience. Unfortunately, he did not realise how good Van was at murdering Orcs with his scimitars and he was very confused why the two flimsy knife things hurt so much in his chest, but even more so when Van finished him of with a spade to the groin.

And so, UgUg died as he had lived — confused but also angry.

With the last of the Orc’s dead, the mysterious runes on the entrance to the Dwarvern caverns stopped glowing. But why is nobody answering?


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